2008 Woodie Awards
How to Make a Bad Movie
Christopher Erat
Issue date: 4/10/06 Section: Entertainment
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Chris Erat
Managing Editor
This weekend I had to choose from the following movies to review: Failure to Launch, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, or The Benchwarmers.
Failure to Launch is a sweet romantic comedy starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker, so I was obviously not going to see that one.
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector stars, you guessed it, Larry the Cable Guy as a farting, belching, nose-picking, pimple-popping, inbred redneck that is somehow qualified to inspect big-city restaurants. Sounds fantastic!
The Benchwarmers, therefore, was my only real option - quite unfortunate for me considering how unbelievably bad it turned out to be.
Seeing how the film was made by Happy Madison Productions (Adam Sandler's production company), one would expect to find humor in the film. However, this one is on par with The Grudge as one of the worst movies ever made. Benchwarmers is utter nonsense; never in my life have I felt so embarrassed to be watching a movie with other people around - this includes pornography, Lifetime specials, and Howard the Duck.
Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) star as thirty-something losers that have nothing better to do with their lives than play baseball against ten-year-old children. They decide to start a team called The Benchwarmers to encourage kids who are unskilled in the area of sports to stand up to the tough kids and have fun at the same time. The three develop quite a following of nerdy youngsters as they face off against many hard-hitting, pre-pubescent opponents.
The entire premise of the film is a waste of life. Of course, this could have easily been forgiven if Benchwarmers actually contained humor. After all, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore had ridiculous premises, but people enjoy them because they are hilarious, something the makers of Benchwarmers seemed to forget about.
If you enjoyed Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite, you are in for a rude awakening - the man is not funny. He ought to stick to Dynamite sequels, otherwise his career is going to go nowhere fast. Within the first ten minutes of Benchwarmers, I had a hard time believing that Heder was ever thought to be funny in the first place. His punch lines are forgettable, his nonsensical comments are awkward, and the frequency of his booger and fart jokes made me yawn.
Managing Editor
This weekend I had to choose from the following movies to review: Failure to Launch, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, or The Benchwarmers.
Failure to Launch is a sweet romantic comedy starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker, so I was obviously not going to see that one.
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector stars, you guessed it, Larry the Cable Guy as a farting, belching, nose-picking, pimple-popping, inbred redneck that is somehow qualified to inspect big-city restaurants. Sounds fantastic!
The Benchwarmers, therefore, was my only real option - quite unfortunate for me considering how unbelievably bad it turned out to be.
Seeing how the film was made by Happy Madison Productions (Adam Sandler's production company), one would expect to find humor in the film. However, this one is on par with The Grudge as one of the worst movies ever made. Benchwarmers is utter nonsense; never in my life have I felt so embarrassed to be watching a movie with other people around - this includes pornography, Lifetime specials, and Howard the Duck.
Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) star as thirty-something losers that have nothing better to do with their lives than play baseball against ten-year-old children. They decide to start a team called The Benchwarmers to encourage kids who are unskilled in the area of sports to stand up to the tough kids and have fun at the same time. The three develop quite a following of nerdy youngsters as they face off against many hard-hitting, pre-pubescent opponents.
The entire premise of the film is a waste of life. Of course, this could have easily been forgiven if Benchwarmers actually contained humor. After all, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore had ridiculous premises, but people enjoy them because they are hilarious, something the makers of Benchwarmers seemed to forget about.
If you enjoyed Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite, you are in for a rude awakening - the man is not funny. He ought to stick to Dynamite sequels, otherwise his career is going to go nowhere fast. Within the first ten minutes of Benchwarmers, I had a hard time believing that Heder was ever thought to be funny in the first place. His punch lines are forgettable, his nonsensical comments are awkward, and the frequency of his booger and fart jokes made me yawn.