2008 Woodie Awards
Teetotalers, have one on me
Jay William Frantz
Issue date: 12/4/06 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
For my little pseudo column, I have decided to do a little research by enjoying copious amounts of my Preferred Tasty Beverage™.
For the few years I have been residing on this little blue orb of ours, I have been concerned about few things more than teetotalers. Teetotalers are fervent anti-drinking activists, who take the view that the government should enforce a ban on all forms of alcohol. They will cite morally absolutist arguments of how it is against their religion, how it has ruined families, and how it pushes people to do evil.
What a bunch of ridiculous crap. Sometimes I wonder if we should change the constitution and eliminate wherever we put the article that allows the mentally retarded to spew public policy. In all seriousness, outrageous fringe views, such as that of teetotalers, should really be ignored more often.
Alcohol doesn't make people do evil-it doesn't even make evil people do evil. People will do evil regardless of whether or not they have been drinking; they just use it as an excuse for their lack of character. Just because some moistened bink lobs a bottle of booze at you, it doesn't make you the king with a license to kill.
Drinking helps bring people together; it can act as a great social lubricant that allows times of great festivity to be all the greater. Indeed, it can also act in helping dull pain, both physical and emotional. When someone has a physically demanding job and drinks a couple beers to relax, that shouldn't be seen as something that needs correcting; it's entirely expectable, and good.
Imbibing is partaking in the finest pastime of many respected Homo sapiens. Plenty of our greatest leaders were known to imbibe the finer spirits, Churchill used to drink a quart of liquor a day, and had champagne with his breakfast. I think I'll use a famous quote, "Beer is evidence that god loves us, and wants us to be happy." Many people quote Ben Franklin on this, and I tend to agree with him.
I'd like to go a bit on a tangent here and discuss alcohol and religion. The best vintners and brewers for centuries were the monks of the Catholic Church. Beer was actually used by many as a Eucharist when they gave up wine for lent, so it's not as if beer is less holy than wine. The inventors of many variations of wine and beer were monks. The monk Dom Perignon, while not the original inventor of Champagne, as legend foretells, was still a creator of many fine varietals. Statist governmental propaganda created the religious dogma they attempt to use in banning drinking. Christendom, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism actually promote moderate consumption of Preferred Tasty Beverage™.
There is no 'Butterfly Effect' from the consumption of alcohol; mankind won't die and reasonable people certainly shouldn't believe that drinking is somehow starting the ball rolling down some slippery slope from which our society can never recover. If that were truly the case, civilization wouldn't be where it is now, given our storied history of drinking.
If you think your children knowing that people drink somehow harms them, it's up to you to be a better parent and handle it. It may take a village to raise a child, but it's the fault of the parents if a child turns out poorly. It's the responsibility of parents to raise their children-stop blaming everyone else.
For the few years I have been residing on this little blue orb of ours, I have been concerned about few things more than teetotalers. Teetotalers are fervent anti-drinking activists, who take the view that the government should enforce a ban on all forms of alcohol. They will cite morally absolutist arguments of how it is against their religion, how it has ruined families, and how it pushes people to do evil.
What a bunch of ridiculous crap. Sometimes I wonder if we should change the constitution and eliminate wherever we put the article that allows the mentally retarded to spew public policy. In all seriousness, outrageous fringe views, such as that of teetotalers, should really be ignored more often.
Alcohol doesn't make people do evil-it doesn't even make evil people do evil. People will do evil regardless of whether or not they have been drinking; they just use it as an excuse for their lack of character. Just because some moistened bink lobs a bottle of booze at you, it doesn't make you the king with a license to kill.
Drinking helps bring people together; it can act as a great social lubricant that allows times of great festivity to be all the greater. Indeed, it can also act in helping dull pain, both physical and emotional. When someone has a physically demanding job and drinks a couple beers to relax, that shouldn't be seen as something that needs correcting; it's entirely expectable, and good.
Imbibing is partaking in the finest pastime of many respected Homo sapiens. Plenty of our greatest leaders were known to imbibe the finer spirits, Churchill used to drink a quart of liquor a day, and had champagne with his breakfast. I think I'll use a famous quote, "Beer is evidence that god loves us, and wants us to be happy." Many people quote Ben Franklin on this, and I tend to agree with him.
I'd like to go a bit on a tangent here and discuss alcohol and religion. The best vintners and brewers for centuries were the monks of the Catholic Church. Beer was actually used by many as a Eucharist when they gave up wine for lent, so it's not as if beer is less holy than wine. The inventors of many variations of wine and beer were monks. The monk Dom Perignon, while not the original inventor of Champagne, as legend foretells, was still a creator of many fine varietals. Statist governmental propaganda created the religious dogma they attempt to use in banning drinking. Christendom, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism actually promote moderate consumption of Preferred Tasty Beverage™.
There is no 'Butterfly Effect' from the consumption of alcohol; mankind won't die and reasonable people certainly shouldn't believe that drinking is somehow starting the ball rolling down some slippery slope from which our society can never recover. If that were truly the case, civilization wouldn't be where it is now, given our storied history of drinking.
If you think your children knowing that people drink somehow harms them, it's up to you to be a better parent and handle it. It may take a village to raise a child, but it's the fault of the parents if a child turns out poorly. It's the responsibility of parents to raise their children-stop blaming everyone else.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Eric Crane
posted 12/30/06 @ 12:03 PM EST
This is a great article- I will tip my next drink to you, sir.
Eric S. Crane
Roswell, GA
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