2008 Woodie Awards
Beautifying homes
Robert Dora
Issue date: 2/18/08 Section: Opinion
Nearly everyone has seen commercials for various home improvement and repair stores. Home make-over shows have also become quite popular. We have become a society bent upon improving every aspect of itself, be it homes, cars, or even people.
These shows all have at least one element of truth in common: you do not see beautiful things being redone. It'd be quite rare to see a mansion, a BMW, or a supermodel being made over. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." This is true for the average person as well.
Most home improvements seem to come in the form of repairs. That old chair may have a few springs sticking out, but you have probably had a tetanus shot. There is no point in getting a new chair, until the old one claims at least one life.
The reason something breaks is not particularly important. It could be a new dog chewing up the couch or some kids playing football in the house.
Occasionally, as in my case, someone may lose his or her balance, despite having ninja-esque reflexes. In this instance, the person's own body becomes a deadly weapon. Several years back, I tripped while going down the stairs. As shocking as that may seem, I swear to its validity. I hit my head against one of the walls in the staircase. The wall gave in. My head ended up stopping within an inch of a protruding nail.
My family is particularly innovative. We managed to find a large picture of a dog, with which we have no connection, to cover the hole. Eventually, however, we did patch the hole. Granted, it took a year and a half. We also ended up with a much-needed fresh coat of paint for the hallway.
Many people seem to adhere to a similar philosophy that revolves around entering hardware stores as little as possible.
When you do enter, however, it is important to make sure to stock up on enough junk to tide you over for the next decade.
You may only need to fix a shutter, but as long as you're in there, you might as well redo the porch.
These shows all have at least one element of truth in common: you do not see beautiful things being redone. It'd be quite rare to see a mansion, a BMW, or a supermodel being made over. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." This is true for the average person as well.
Most home improvements seem to come in the form of repairs. That old chair may have a few springs sticking out, but you have probably had a tetanus shot. There is no point in getting a new chair, until the old one claims at least one life.
The reason something breaks is not particularly important. It could be a new dog chewing up the couch or some kids playing football in the house.
Occasionally, as in my case, someone may lose his or her balance, despite having ninja-esque reflexes. In this instance, the person's own body becomes a deadly weapon. Several years back, I tripped while going down the stairs. As shocking as that may seem, I swear to its validity. I hit my head against one of the walls in the staircase. The wall gave in. My head ended up stopping within an inch of a protruding nail.
My family is particularly innovative. We managed to find a large picture of a dog, with which we have no connection, to cover the hole. Eventually, however, we did patch the hole. Granted, it took a year and a half. We also ended up with a much-needed fresh coat of paint for the hallway.
Many people seem to adhere to a similar philosophy that revolves around entering hardware stores as little as possible.
When you do enter, however, it is important to make sure to stock up on enough junk to tide you over for the next decade.
You may only need to fix a shutter, but as long as you're in there, you might as well redo the porch.
Be the first to comment on this story